Do the Next Thing

I had coffee with a friend on Friday during my lunch hour. She shared with me some nuggets of simple truth and encouragement that have been replaying in my mind. The one I have found myself reflecting on most this weekend is to just "do the next thing." When I'm feeling unmotivated, disappointed, or lethargic I am telling myself to do the next thing. One step at a time is very manageable.

I can get carried away with plans and looking too far down the path. As much as I love planning and being prepared, it can sometimes get overwhelming when I don't think I can accomplish all that is set before me. I can shut down and do absolutely nothing.

Recently, just since school finished for the summer, I have become a casuality of this shut-down. I have been unproductive, lazy, and uncharacteristically scattered. And of course, I need to remedy this. So the idea that I just have to do the next thing might just work for me when I find myself in this condition.

I love to-do lists and prioritizing my tasks, so if I can just do the next thing on my list, I will slowly make progress. Let's not get too eager though...my lists aren't very long at this point. Today on my list: post a blog entry. Check.

For the present nothing, for the future everything

I wanted to share this because it so closely ties to what I posted last week. My dad sent me this link as an encouragement and I have read it several times. I feel like I'm in a very dark, dismal, and lonely place in my life right now. These words resonate with me and give me some hope. I continue to feel like nothing's changing...I'm waiting, waiting, waiting...and nothing's changing. Perhaps comparing my current state to walking through the fire is dramatic, but I love the analogy in terms of the refining process. I love the opening lines of this devotional, " The process of discovering, processing, purifying, and shaping gold is a lengthy, painstaking process. Affliction is gold in the making..." So in the present, I see and feel nothing changing. My current fears, doubts, and uncertain future seem insurmountable. But with courage and heart, I find reassurance that my future is being shaped as I'm waiting. "That's what's happening. For the present time, nothing. For the future, everything!"

Dark Before the Morning

As some of you know, I've been going to counseling since the end of January. It's been a difficult process at times with many emotions, highs and lows. I am grateful for what I have been able to work through and verbalize in a vulnerable way. It has truly been humbling. At the heart of it all is that I want what I don't have and I am not who I want to be. When I think of the conversations I've had with my counselor and her wise words, it all comes back to this process of sanctification and change...and God's timing in my life. Even in the midst of what I feel in my longings, pain, darkness, I know that I am not alone and that there is joy and peace to be claimed. I know that there is joy in each day and I need to intentionally look for it. I can find gratitude in my heart even when I am discouraged. When I feel darkness, I will shine light. And with each new day there are blessings and reasons to celebrate. I continue to trust and wait in hope that God's plan for me is still unraveling. And each night as I fall asleep either through tears or with calm content, I know this is just the dark before the morning.

Before the Morning Lyrics Josh Wilson

Do you wonder why you have to feel the things that hurt you?

If there's a God who loves you, where is he now?

Maybe there are things you can't see and all those things are happening to bring a better ending

Some day, somehow you'll see

Would you dare to believe that you still have a reason to sing?

Cause the pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on, you have to wait for the light

Press on, just fight the good the fight

Cause the pain that you've been feeling is just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends and you know where you're going

You just don't know how you'll get there, so say a prayer

And hold on, cause there's good for those who love God

Life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time, but you'll see the bigger picture

Would you dare to believe that you still have a reason to sing?

Once you feel the way of glory, all your pain will fade to memory

It can't compare to the joy that's coming

Cause the pain you've been feeling is just the hurt before the morning, just the dark before the morning

German Musings

I have been back from my trip to Germany for 2 weeks. It has been harder for me to reacclamate myself to life here than it was adjusting to the time change or the cultural differences I experienced during my 9 days there. I have been reflecting on my trip and am so very thankful for the opportunity I had to go. Some of my favorite things on my trip include reconnecting and spending time with the Foxes, conversations about life with Carol, meeting a young enlisted Air Force member who is going home to Alabama to give a kidney to his sick mom, playing basketball with Nathan, and hearing Carol speak at a MOPS event for Air Force wives.


Is it weird that what I loved most about my time there could have happened anywhere? It wasn't Germany itself, although it is a beautiful country with rich history. It was the relationships and the time spent together that meant the most to me. That is a powerful reminder to me that it's not where you are, but who you are with that matters most. I know it's cliche, but it's living truth.


As I am considering options for a new job or moving to a new place, this hit me hard. I don't want to run away from where I am and leave behind all the people I love. The feelings of being alone and desiring companionship that I feel now may only be augmented if I go somewhere new where I don't know anyone at all. I will still be with me wherever I go, chock-full of my insecurities, pride, fears, doubts, and desires. Life on base at Spangdahlem struck me as very isolated and dim. It was the dead of winter of course, so that's part of it. But the idea I had in my mind was much more glamorized than what it was in reality.


There's much to consider in looking for this change I am seeking. And as much as I feel like I want a change in environment, the change needs to be from the inside out. With expectatation (and some trembling) I am excitedly anticipating what's around the bend after this school year. Whether it be that I bloom where I'm planted or I am uprooted and find myself somewhere new, I know that God is with me wherever I go. And in that I am secure.

Have No Direction, But Will Travel

It's been 3 months and 2 days since I booked my flight to Germany. And I'm leaving tomorrow! I'm still not really convinced that I'm going. It doesn't seem real to me that I'm leaving my teaching responsibilities and flying to Europe in the middle of February. But, I hope that by tomorrow at this time when I'm going through security and getting to my gate that I can relax, take it all in, and just be.

People have been asking me, "What are you going to do when you're there?" and "What are you going to see?" I really don't know. I am going with no expectations other than I will get to sleep, eat, read, and see new things. And best of all, I get to be with sweet Carol who has the best laugh of anyone I know! She has been where I find myself now, and for me, knowing that someone has experienced the same disappointment and discontent is comforting. Her words to me are not empty or filled with pity. She is spirit-filled and so amazingly gracious and wise. I am excited just to be in her presence.

I am anxious to be still. I am ready for rest, exploration, and refreshment. I am praying that God will give me direction and show me His plans for me and also teach me to continue to trust him in the wait when I don't know where I'm headed. As my brother wrote to me in a note he gave me over the weekend, "Nothing is bigger or too great than our God. Bring your troubles to Him. He is the same in Germany as He is here." Although I feel directionless and disappointed with life right now, I know that God is with me wherever I am. My bags are packed and I'm ready to go!