Like a Wet Baby

Mark Twain once said, "The only one who likes change is a wet baby." Well...I must be that wet baby then because all I want right now is change. I don't mean to be unappreciate or a complainer. My life is pretty great and I know that I am beyond blessed. But there is this stirring and restlessness within me for more.

Part of my unrest is about my job. I don't know if I want to return to ICS in the fall, continue teaching, move somewhere new, or just change jobs within the DC area. I have been exploring different options and I applied for a job with International Justice Mission. To my disappointment I got the rejection letter via email from IJM this week. I knew it was a long shot, but I was really excited about the opportunity. Even still, I feel very led and passionate to explore more of the organization's outreach. As I reflected over the week about why God closed this door I didn't really come up with any answers. But since they didn't want me for this job, I realized I can volunteer with them (big light-bulb moment, I know). So I looked at their volunteer opportunities and put in my volunteer application for the Hands-On Justice Team that does administrative tasks about once a month for three hours on a Wednesday night. A step in the right direction. Change in my life that will hopefully impact someone else's for good.

Even in this trite example, I can see that perhaps God is guiding me in the direction of change but not necessarily how I thought it would be. I want a job with IJM, but maybe He wants me to volunteer my time with IJM. I wish I could snap my fingers and be where I want to be, but over and over (because I obviously don't get in the first few times) I am reminded that where I want to be may not be where God intends me to be and what I want to do may not be His best plan for me.

Through the tears and wailing, I am that wet baby crying out for change. God is not ignoring me, he is answering my cries in His time and in His way. I have to continue to trust and hold onto the promises I know to be true. Proclaiming God's love in the morning and His faithfulness at night (Psalm 92:2), I have made my desires known to Him and He will lead me. And my God will continue to love me even when I'm acting like a baby.