It's been 3 months and 2 days since I booked my flight to Germany. And I'm leaving tomorrow! I'm still not really convinced that I'm going. It doesn't seem real to me that I'm leaving my teaching responsibilities and flying to Europe in the middle of February. But, I hope that by tomorrow at this time when I'm going through security and getting to my gate that I can relax, take it all in, and just be.
People have been asking me, "What are you going to do when you're there?" and "What are you going to see?" I really don't know. I am going with no expectations other than I will get to sleep, eat, read, and see new things. And best of all, I get to be with sweet Carol who has the best laugh of anyone I know! She has been where I find myself now, and for me, knowing that someone has experienced the same disappointment and discontent is comforting. Her words to me are not empty or filled with pity. She is spirit-filled and so amazingly gracious and wise. I am excited just to be in her presence.
I am anxious to be still. I am ready for rest, exploration, and refreshment. I am praying that God will give me direction and show me His plans for me and also teach me to continue to trust him in the wait when I don't know where I'm headed. As my brother wrote to me in a note he gave me over the weekend, "Nothing is bigger or too great than our God. Bring your troubles to Him. He is the same in Germany as He is here." Although I feel directionless and disappointed with life right now, I know that God is with me wherever I am. My bags are packed and I'm ready to go!